I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Plan B is the new Plan A
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
