all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
