when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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