dude i'm inner monologue high
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
