Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
