I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
