Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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