Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
