Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Randomize
