See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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