i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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