well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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