One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
