I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
