found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
