two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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