I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
