guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
