I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize