Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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