Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
