You're my little dorito
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
