do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
