just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
