It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
