I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
