pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
