I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
