she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do vagina's smell?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
