Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
