Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
