Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm at about main and main street
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
