I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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