I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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