Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
