will power is for people who don't want to get laid
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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