Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This girl is more easily done than said...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
