So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
