Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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