Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
