In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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