i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
