Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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