The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
