dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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