I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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