Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
