I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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