her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Mom said you looked used
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
