I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
