hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
