You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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