Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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