I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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