I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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