i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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