I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
