the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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