oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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